One of the lessons that working on the human side of organisations taught me is the huge importance of effective conversations. What happens on the ground is directly related to the quality of the conversations held in the business or between different parties and stakeholders.
We very rarely, however, step back to consider how effective our conversations really are; in fact the topic may not even be on the radar, assuming conversations are purely about the exchange of information or the working out of a challenge.
Whilst words are important and allow us to express thoughts and be precise, there is also a lot going on in a conversation beneath the surface and the sub-text will often speak louder than the words. A conversation is just as much about the relationship as it is about the subject matter.
Here are a few points to consider when you are involved in conversation.
1. Does the way in which you speak to someone enhance them or diminish them? In leadership work we are always seeking to enhance and respect the other person whilst being clear and open about our own position. If people feel diminished in conversation with you they will not engage.
2. Are you aware of power differentials and do you use them to good effect? Power differentials are inherent in organisations; whoever has more of anything (authority, status, knowledge) has more power. Differentials need to be recognised and actively managed.
3. Research has demonstrated that in order to maintain good relations the ratio of positive to negative exchanges needs to be at least 5:1. Are you aware of that and do you bear it in mind during discussions?
4. Aim to listen more than you speak. This may be challenging when time is tight but it will ensure you pick up on deeper concerns that may be at play in a situation.
5. As humans we are creatures of meaning. Words and conversations are always being interpreted not just exchanged. Are you aware of what is important to another person and do you take this into account?
If you are interested in the role conversations play and how you can conduct them with greater awareness I will be running a two-day programme - Effective Conversations: Improving professional and personal relationships one conversation at a time - on 19th/20th November 2015 at the Manchester Meeting Place in Central Manchester. I would be delighted if you would consider joining me whilst we explore how to harness the power of effective conversation to enhance your organisation's success.
